Week Sixteen
still need to pack for my flight today #prayersup
IN:
joining a kickball league with your friends
hosting a TSITP series finale watch party at your office
Good Things by Samin Nosrat (and especially the Peri Peri Chicken recipe!!)
CONRAD MFING FISHERRRRRR aka Chris Briney (king, loml, yearnalist)
dunking your face into a bowl of ice water first thing in the morning for a little reset (anxiety-ridden hive stand up)
OUT:
breaking out all over your face in your 30s (I blame the amount of makeup I’ve had to wear for every event lately. My face is literally currently a new shape because of the pimple under my chin. Help.)
starting/participating in a “woo woo” chant at a concert
tight capri pants (did we not learn our lesson in middle school? Unless you have sticks for legs, this trend is not for you/us)
Dawson from Dawson’s Creek (I just finished my re-watch and boooooo go away Dawson; xoxo love you Paceyyyyyy)
people who try to yuck your yum
the water being cold during a pedicure (this is very specific, and no, I would never tell them the water is too cold, please BFFR)
BFFR:
Out: people who try to yuck your yum
Ok, listen, I see the irony here. It’s not lost on me. That I literally have an OUT list weekly where I could, in theory, be viewed as yucking some people’s yums, and now I’m here telling you that it’s really not cool to do that. Well, I personally don’t think my OUT list including some things that people may like (read: Labubus) is yucking their yums, I think it’s just a fun, silly outlet to express my extensive (absurd) opinions in an inoffensive way. But trust and believe I am not running around in people’s faces who wear tight capri pants telling them that they look horrible and will regret their choices in 5 years (maybe even 5 months) — I let them live their own lives and enjoy the things that bring them joy in peace.
We (as a society generally) have become too comfortable telling people to their faces why their interests are dumb, or ugly, or weird — probably because the Internet has emboldened us to just be meaner to people in person too. The idea of basic respect has gone out the window. Like yes, I find people who enjoy ambient house music to be a little unusual and it’s odd that it’s their go-to form of music to enjoy, but I’m not going to sit in a car and pout and turn it off because I’m not having a good time. Sorry to break it to you everyone, but you may not always be having such a good time when doing things, or when making other people happy, and that’s ok. We’ve just become so selfish and self-centered, it’s weird??
And I’m not saying to not have opinions or feelings on things. Again, my entire Substack is full of opinions, and that’s not going to change. But to be outwardly rude and/or dismissive to someone (who isn’t bringing you or anyone else any harm with their opinion, big distinction there) just because they find joy in something you might find silly or childish or lame? Grow up.
A big example of this that pisses me off is how women and girls are trashed for liking boy bands or pop music and “going crazy” over them, but men are allowed to make up cute little songs and dances and chants for their favorite sports teams to no ridicule at all. It’s two sides of the same coin babes, a coin that I happen to like both sides of! I just don’t like the double standard and how women’s interests are constantly being yucked — so go put on your full kit for the match, buddy, as if you’re going to be asked to jump onto the pitch after half and play with the team. And stfu, respectfully, you’re just a One Direction fan in different clothing :)
If you can’t tell (how?) I’m (annoyingly) usually a staunch defender of people who are being roasted for their interests (even if their interests are lame to me). Because 1) I hate seeing people who are unable to defend themselves struggle to do it, it actually is like seeing an injured baby bird to me, the lawyer in me has to swoop in and make it stop and 2) what makes you (random person doing the roasting) the arbiter of what should be cool to this other person? It’s also your first time on earth, last time I checked, so maybe take it easy with the high and mighty attitude?? (I’m convinced I was actually placed on this earth to give people my strong, unasked-for opinion on things (again, just giving my own opinion, not yucking your yums), and then knocking other people off their high horses — it’s a really fun time).
To continue the trend of psychoanalyzing myself and why it bothers me so much when people behave this way, I think it comes back to the idea of “being too aloof and cool for the mainstream” or “only girls like x” that really irks me. The people who tend to yuck my yum, and other peoples’ yums (can we just note that the saying is like a little silly and writing it so many times has now made me realize that), are those who just find their own interests so cool and different, off the beaten path, and decidedly not “girly” that they could never imagineeeee liking [insert any normal thing here]. “I wouldn’t be caught dead driving a G Wagon!!” Like ok, sweetie, you make less than 100k a year so you’re not driving any car with that salary actually. Or “only girls like Taylor Swift” like first of all don’t say girls with that tone and second of all men who understand their complex emotions like her too — go to therapy.
I guess it’s that negative energy I’m talking about (that I’m sure you recognize and understand). Not to talk about cursed Labubus again, but my reasoning for hating them is the nightmares that they would inevitably bring me when they come to life and try to kill me in the middle of the night. But if their creepy smiles and little outfits bring you joy, then go off and buy as many surprise packs as you want. One day they’ll haunt your attic like the Furbies from my childhood currently do, but that’s ok! It’s weird to bring such negative energy to things, places, or people that bring other people joy? Ok so you like to read Colleen Hoover, maybe not my first choice on the list of authors I would like to read (the constant theme of domestic violence in her books freaks me out), but hey at least you’re reading!!! And that’s a win to me in its own right.
As long as your interests aren’t harming me (read: guns, etc.) then I’m all for it. If you’re interests are harming me, or others, then they’re not interests or hobbies — they’re just dangerous and the “don’t yuck someone’s yum” doesn’t apply to dangerous things.
The moral, to bring it back around to the top, to the yum yuckers out there, get your womp womp Debbie Downer attitude out of here. Bring yourself back down to earth (happy to do it for you if you need) and realize that you’re not all that special when forcing yourself to try and be different and making people feel small for loving what they love (even if what they love is “basic” who cares! #LetThem!).
The only people whose yums you are allowed to yuck, Listers, (to really piss them off) are bullies and haters.
Ok love you all!!! This applies to none of you cuties, I know you would never!!!
Xx,
B
P.S. Sorry to my Ohio friend if this week felt too “negative” for you, but I’m basically out here defending the entire Midwest and their interests/likes/decisions, so take this as your friend from NJ sticking up for you.
Bonus photos for you that couldn’t wait for the B-Roll on Monday.
First, my very cool kickball team (sans a few members, e.g., can’t wait to see SRS on the court ASAP). We lost so absolutely horrifyingly to a team of children who are gladly part of the Evil Empire — IYKYK.
I will be in Italy next Thursday (good luck to me figuring out how to post at 8am ET next week, considering the time difference), so unable to redeem myself and my kickball abilities, but come first week of October??? Watch tf out.
& Laro <3
can't wait to KICK IT with my bb!!!! i miss you laro, thanks for letting me cuddle you that time. <3 :') <3 favorite photo