Week Seven
it was St. Swithin's Day on Tuesday...sobbing thinking about One Day, IYKYK
IN:
starting every sentence or text with “ok ____”
anything Baggu (my Baggu bags have survived beer spills, torrential downpours, sunscreen leaks, international travel, etc. — they’re unmatched)
being influenced by your siblings/friends/that random girl at Duane Reade the other day who told me she really loved the L’Oreal bond repair shampoo, over actual “influencers” (& shout out Greg, our L’Oreal king)
quality dupes (not to be confused with fakes — we do not support fakes and/or any form of trademark infringement in this household)
Desert 5 Spot (pls take me to one of their line dancing classes, I need to do the line dance to Manchild by Sabrina Carpenter in public STAT)
saying soz for sorry
OUT:
girls who say “I don’t buy many beauty things” (ok pick me, relax)
guys who call each other “boss” or say things like “thanks, boss” to a random man they’ve just met/encountered
fruit in salads (the only “fruit” I want to see in a salad is a tomato — get that orange or apple out of my face)
going places that play ambient house music and pretending to like it/have a good time
not being able to find Tillamook chocolate ice cream in a single grocery store in Williamsburg
donuts that aren’t from Dunkin’
BFFR:
Out: going places that play ambient house music and pretending to like it/have a good time
The era of trying to be cool is over. Stop it. There is no way that any of you are actually enjoying yourselves while you’re out at these bars or clubs or wherever listening to “ambient house”. It’s just a collection of odd sounds?? I understand that not all forms of music will have words accompanying them (wouldn’t be my first choice but for some things, I understand it). Classical music can be pretty, relaxing, calming, and even moving at times (the Pride and Prejudice 2005 soundtrack is one of my favorite things on planet earth) and at least jazz is telling a story behind the music, and it’s fun and lively and you can dance to it (and La La Land is a Letterboxd top four movie for me, so shut up, I’ll have no jazz or La La Land slander here)…but what in the world is “ambient house,” and why is it plaguing Brooklyn/my generation?
If I am going out, I want to dance. I want to sing to songs that I know and I want to dance with my friends and have fun. I promise you every single night that I’ve gone to an establishment that only plays “deep house” or “ambient house” (and no, not to be confused with the good Jersey Shore/Avicii-esque house music — because that I actually will allow and do enjoy), I’ve had a bad time. And my friends will pretend and pretend and pretend that they like it, that they’re enjoying themselves and having a goooooood time — but I know it’s only from stubbornness to prove me wrong.
I’m actually convinced everyone in those places is only there because they think it’s “the cool place to be,” and “cool thing to like,” and so they go and they drag all of their friends and they pretend not to be miserable, when they could all be at Desert 5 Spot learning a line dance and singing Shania Twain at the top of their lungs instead!!!
Truly, why would you pick anything else over that?? Why would you pick an evening full of music with no words and people just shuffling around the dance floor (aka their cool version of “dancing”) when you could go somewhere like Joyface and listen exclusively to ABBA, Donna Summer, Robyn, and Whitney Houston and scream lyrics at the top of your lungs and bop around with your friends?? To be honest, if I’m not hearing Come on Eileen by the end of the night, it was an unsuccessful evening!
I just fear we’ve entered this state where we think it’s “not cool” to go places that play top 40 music (from any generation) and sing along to songs, and it makes me so sad. Maybe it’s “mainstream,” but what is so wrong about that? There’s a reason the majority of people like something! You don’t have to fight against it just because of that!
Like the nights that I’ve managed to convince my friends to go to a bar like Desert 5 Spot, Joyface, Dolly’s, or Tom & Joan’s have been some of our most fun nights out! We close out the bar!! They can’t get us to leave!! It’s like my friends have forgotten our best nights out in college were spent at The Jane Hotel (RIP) and dancing on their tables and chairs and couches. Let’s not lose touch with who we are, people!
And some of you may say, “well, B, it’s because you don’t do drugs, and that’s why you don’t “understand” the ambient house music movement” — well I am so so sooooo sorry but if you need drugs to enjoy your night and the music you are listening to, I’m pretty sure that means you don’t actually like the music and are just trying to find a way to self-soothe your way through your evening. That’s not my problem; that’s something you need to figure out on your own. Sorry that you’re forcing yourself to be miserable, though — and I can’t be sure, but I can guess Sabrina Carpenter will sound just as fun on shrooms!
Let’s make a deal, how about this week we all go out to a “normal” bar, take a shot of tequila, and allow ourselves to fully drop into the role of singing our favorite top 40 songs at the top of our lungs with our closest friends. I promise you it’ll be one of the most fun nights you’ve had out in a long time.
Report back — I’m excited to hear about how it goes.
Xx,
B
Deep Cut: If I Had A Gun… by Noel Gallagher’s High Flying Birds
In honor of Oasis starting their tour, and my jealous rage at not having tickets to see them (pls advise if you have a plug for their Sept 1 show at MetLife), my deep cut this week is a Noel song…I’m a lyrics girlie, and he’s a lyrics lad after all!
Hope I didn't speak too soon
My eyes have always followed you around the room
'Cause you're the only God that I will ever need
I'm holding on, I'm waiting for the moment
For my heart to be unbroken by the sea
And a few extra photos from my camera roll from the week for those of you that have made it this far and earned it :)
Hey
"Maybe it’s a recession indicator, but I’m here for the dupes!!!" actually made me lol