IN:
your niece being your best friend (sorry, Sami)
the homestretch brand from Aritzia (long sleeve, short sleeve, tank top, doesn’t matter I’ll take one top in every color, tysm) (pls see the video I posted earlier this week of me doing what can only be described as a man’s task to see me modeling one in real life)
saying “khalas”, “yanni”, “habibi”, and/or “inshallah” in regular conversation (in a loving non-culturally appropriating way)
wearing red in the summer (it’s a summer color (actually it’s an every szn color) and more of you need to get on board with that solid fact)
friends bringing you back well-made presents when they travel somewhere (e.g., Omar bringing me two pairs of leather sandals from Egypt when Sabah didn’t have the ones I wanted in my size, tysm Asmaa)
people in their 30s being elected and/or promoted and/or put into positions of leadership (put me in coach!!)
OUT:
mesh ballet flats (pls stop)
labubu dolls (actually though…STOP it right NOW)
100+ degree weather and New York/the Tri-State Area becoming a “subtropical climate” (don’t remember signing up for this?? thanks climate change)
4pm meetings being canceled one minute (???) before they’re supposed to begin (you couldn’t have given us a little heads up? you had an entire day)
the Freehold Twp. Water Department
thinking you’re too cool to do a slip-n-slide and have an ice pop at 8:30am on a Tuesday during a heat wave
being around a 4-year-old can really remind you that you have free will and can have fun whenever you want!
BFFR:
Out: the Freehold Twp. Water Department
Whew. It has been a hot week, and you would think my escape to the suburbs would’ve aided in cooling me down and mellowing me out…WRONG. I’m as heated as the weather. (I’m as hot as the weather? No, that doesnt sound right either. Whatever I’m annoyed!)
Here’s why. Tuesday evening a green slip of paper was attached to our front door from the Freehold Twp. Water Dept: “Weather permitting, your water will be shut off tomorrow at 8am for about 6 hours and turned on again once the work is completed.” Ok, my parents say this has happened before and it lasted for an hour tops, fine. An hour? Ok.
Wednesday, 8am, the water turns off. Ok, we’re prepped for this - we knew this would happen, it’ll be over soon. The work day continues and you quickly realize how important it is to have access to running water. 4:30pm comes you also realize that the “about 6 hours” is now reaching 8+ hours. Dinner time is soon, there’s a 4-year-old that needs a bath, and I WANT TO WASH MY HANDS. The lawyer in me starts to seethe (or maybe it’s just regular me? maybe lawyer me and regular me are the same person, idk).
By 4:45pm I call the number on that damn green slip of paper to see what’s up. Just ready for a friendly check-in and chat but I reach a voicemail that says the water department closes at 4:30pm…oh OF COURSE IT DOES. I’m sorry what?? FOUR THIRTY PM? The heat starts to rise…
My sister says to call the “emergency” number they’ve listed, why not? And you know what Aleca, you’re right, why tf not? So I do, and it’s the police department. Ok so now I feel a little silly. Once the man said “Freehold Twp police dept” I froze for a second…but I was in too deep, had to push through. I tell him our issue, in what my sister described as a “direct and forceful tone” (aka I used my lawyer voice on him) and he actually seems understanding (color me surprised tbh). He tells me he will call the head water guy for me and figure out what’s going on and to expect a call shortly. Fab, my parent’s tax dollars at work I guess (too bad their tax dollars couldn’t give me water for the entire day) but god bless.
So, the head water guy (he has a name but he will remain anonymous on this public forum of course, I have a soul), calls me approx 30 mins later to tell me in the most relaxed, cavalier tone (with the strongest New Jerseyean accent) that he has “no idea when they will turn it back on and he’s actually already home now so he has no way of finding out.” Whewwww boy you all know by now that his attitude and response set me off immediately. I’ve lived in New York City for 10+ years, but I was raised in New Jersey by two Eastern European immigrants, so safe to say that controlled rage comes out of me so naturally (as you probably read in my post from last week) — it’s second nature. I fear I may even pick up a bit of an accent as it’s happening.
This man unfortunately did not know who he was talking to, and telling me that he was “already home” and “has no way of finding out” was a choice. Excuse me? You don’t have a way to contact your team? No cellphone? What kind of operation are you running? “Do you have running water at home right now? Must be nice.” “Do you have a kid that needs a bath before bed tonight?” “Or the desire to wash your hands?” I start annoying him with my line of questioning, might as well. He has the audacity to tell me “well, think of the guys and how they’ve been working outside all day in this heat.” And that was the nail in the coffin for me. “YEAH, and I didn’t put them out there today, did I?? What a choice buddy, your sign said weather permitting, and you think this weather is permitting of you putting these men to work outside in this heat?” Silence. He told me to go talk to the guys. So, that’s exactly what I did.
There are six men working three houses down from mine, in the middle of the street — naturally blocking off the entire road. At this point I’m running on the same adrenaline that gets me through tough work calls — ready to burn it all down if I have to in the name of justice and what is right (except the client here is my household and my ability to shower). I walk up to them and they’re a bit stunned, but I nicely ask, “hey what’s the deal here, when are we actually getting our water back because I called the head guy and he says he has not a single clue and he’s comfortably home already, so ya know that’s just not an answer I’m willing to accept” and I quickly realize that these 6 guys are on my side. They also don’t seem to love the head water guy. My friends. Time to turn on the charm.
The man who I believe has deemed himself the leader of this pack tells me it’ll only be a few more minutes, the man who I’ve deemed as the actual leader of this pack tells me “it’ll actually be more like 45 mins to an hour. But we’re workin on it. Almost there.” So I hit them with the “wow, finally some real answers! Thank you so much for everything you’ve done today. And don’t worry I told the head water guy that it’s absurd they have you working outside in this weather.” My new squad of six now have the biggest grins on their faces, I’m getting thumbs ups. I have to keep it going, I live for this shit. “Fuck ‘em for making you be outside today. Nice that he’s home already though! So let’s wrap it up, get us our water, and get you home too, you’ve more than earned it.” They literally started clapping and cheering and this is why I have a sickness. I practically started a union. But guess whose water was back on in exactly 45 mins? This girl’s. The head water guy should be shaking in his boots. Should I run for office??
But really, people just want to know that you hear them, connect with them, actually see them on a human level. We’re all going through shit 24/7. Most of it is tough and really sucks. There’s no need to be rude to people, but if you’re rude to me first (or worse, rude to any of my family or friends) you better know what you’re in for.
And ok, I know it may not fit perfectly with this BFFR about me fighting with the lame ass Freehold Twp. Water Dept. (no disrespect though, I am sure it’s a hard job), but I heard a quote this week that has stuck with me for a bit that I can’t shake.
I was raised with the understanding that freedom and the fight for it are interconnected.
And you know what? Same. I was also raised with that understanding (tysm Mom and Dad). And yes, sometimes my dramatic need for justice and fighting for freedoms (in the general sense) seeps into my day to day when I’m talking to a guy who is just trying to do his job as the head water guy. But other times it’s for my clients, who need me to have their back. And far too rarely it’s for myself (although I’m working on that).
Freedom and the fight for it are interconnected — it’s not handed to you. Use your voice, even if it seems scary, or you have to confront a police officer, the head water guy, and six grown men. If you’re in a position of privilege, and you’re able to, stand up for those around you (and always be nice to the workers/people actually providing a service, it’s never their fault).
Xx,
B
Deep Cut: Someone Great by LCD Soundsystem
This hot weather always makes me feel like running around NYC with LCD blaring in my headphones as the soundtrack to the tailor-made movie of my life in the city. Main character syndrome much?
& a few miscellaneous things from my photo album this week since I’ve been requested to “add more photos”:
ahhh so happy to hear you enjoyed my article <33!!
I’ve been attacked